9:37pm

Ugh. Someone mail me cigarettes. I need them. I have a brother of age, but I can't ask him cuz he's such a dick and will rat me out or something cool like that.

I ate almost 1200 calories today. Just let me die please? I won't eat tomorrow. I won't have to. I have band practice in the morning, and then other band practice in the after noon. And at night...well I'll just go to bed early. I have to work at 6am on Thursday anyway so that'll be my excuse for skipping dinner. And if I have to eat then I'll just have some Greek yogurt, or cottage cheese....yes my plan is good.

The upside of today is that I worked out. My period is a bit better so I was able to. I probably burned at least 200 so that makes me feel a tiny tiny bit better.

A little part of the reason I ate so much is my grandma. I babysat my cousin today (who lives with my grandparents, along with my aunt and uncle) and my grandma and grandpa came home early from the city so they were there most of the day. My grandma has this crazy (ha) idea that I don't eat and need to gain weight. So she went out of her way to make me.

She made me eat this REPULSIVE microwave lentil soup. It was close to 200 cals. YEAH. And don't get me wrong. Lentils are wonderful and healthy. When made from SCRATCH. Not dried up in a plastic packet. Jeez.

And then I helped my cousin make cookies and she fucking made me eat a ton. WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?!

Whatever. I'll fast tomorrow. And probably Thursday too. Friday I'll be working from opening til 11, and then I'll be with my grandma again xP getting mani pedis. And going to lunch. Ugh. Fuck.

Help me? Text or AIM buddies anywhere? aim is papermelrose