You know what the best feeling in the world is? Not the number on the scale, or the calorie count, or the pants size...its looking at all the thinspo pictures you lovely ladies post and thinking to myself "I'm thinner than her." That's all I could ever ask for.
I am in dire need of a cigarette. It's been like 10 months since I've had one, and it's killing me. Now that boyfriend (or ex boyfriend now) has dumped me, I have no reason not to smoke anymore. He hated cigarettes so I didn't because I love him and I want to do what he wants. But it's clear he doesn't want me around anymore so why should I do anything for him. I'm a fan of weed too, but I'm not taking anything that'll make me eat. Cuz hell no I don't wanna eat. I wanna starve and waste away to nothing, please.
So I interviewed for a job at a little cafe in my town. It's basically a Starbucks, but privately owned. And, I got the job :) so free coffee and money for me.
My brother and I are starting our own little business. We're going to drive down south where cigarettes are incredibly cheap, then bring them back home and sell them. We could double our investment doing that. I could use the cash, and he's itching to do something with himself. Plus, I'll get cheap cigarettes. Hell yes.
Period is coming and I don't even wanna step on the scale cuz I know even though I probably lost, it won't show in the numbers cuz of the extra period ness. Can't wait til the goddamm thing just goes away. I put on my old pants from last fall. They're big x] big enough that I could go like two sizes down. I never thought I'd see the day when 0's are big sometimes and 00's fit. I just want 00's to be baggy. I'll be happy then. For now I just have to be content with the fact that I'm 22 pounds lighter than I was last year at this time. It doesn't sound like much, but when you're as short as me that's a huge difference. I haven't been puking. At all. This is all willpower.
I went shopping today. I got 2 bras, a pair of red Chucks, two shirts, a belt, and two pairs of socks. Guess how much I spent? 45 bucks. Yeah. I'm that good of a shopper. Hate on me xP.
Mom says that when I transfer out to college next year she's gonna buy me Jimmy Choos. OH YES. The dress code for the college I'm going to is business. Like all the time. Skirts and slacks, blouses, heels or dress shoes. No visible piercings besides ears (I guess I'll have to take out my monroe then) and no visible tattoos. I'm planning on getting a tattoo as soon as I turn 18. I already planned on getting it somewhere not too visible anyway, like my back or something. And I'm gonna get that monroe. And a belly button ring. And I think I might get my hip pierced too. Why the hell not. If I don't like it I can just take it out. May as well get it out of my system now before I go to college and get into the corporate world and have to grow up. Who the hell wants to do that?
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